Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I am touched, honestly, by your audacity to come here again after such denigration. It’s fantastic but you know what? You don’t get to tell me anything now. And tell your shrewd heart that I am done with you. I mean; how can you even think, even think to think from that tiny filthy mind of yours that I will try to pay any heed to your faked excuses?

I am a man, hundred percent at that, and he has honors and self-respect to safeguard or else what use of is he? Wouldn’t it be better rather, to kill him? He is created to stand as a synonym for dignity. Even Gods revere the strong intentions of a true man. And you here, a human and that too made up of lies and betrayals, sit down on my couch and play a ruse on me and think I will believe all the crap coz of your big brown eyes and silky hair. Great men aren’t affected by the glitter and embellishments of a woman’s face. Oh no! Don’t mistake me as one but atleast I know that I am the person you claimed to live and die with till eternity. Eternity! Hello sun, is this eternity? Mr. Cloud, we got eternity? Ha!

“Just a week more, I beseech you to trust me!”

There you go again. I must say, from the rock bottom of the depths of my heart, that you, sitting in front of me with teary eyes and bewitching lips, are an artist of top-notch quality. I had the inkling since the first day I loved you and today, I can swear it. Indeed, God does things in mysterious ways, or else how could I have seen this side of you; no, let go of the lies and perfidy; but as you sit here and weep like an innocent child, anyone in the world would be saddened by that invisible veil of remorse and love that appears so true, marvelous! Anybody but me. You know all the time that I am leaving tomorrow for another country and still you insist for a week. How innocent! I can’t even begin to apprehend the complexities of a girl’s mind. What enigmatic chemical in your mind could possibly tell you to still try and keep up the good image, instead of simply confessing? That could be a field of research for all I know.

I wonder, aren’t my words enough to scald your heart? After all those adoring words that flowed from your lips to worship me, and the heavenly world of love we saw together? You don’t remember; do you, the excruciating longing of every passing second when I waited for you two hours at the coffee shop just to secure your favorite place. Oh! And you cry harder as if you really care, or even cared.

I am fed up now, of myself. And I will accuse you no more coz it doesn’t matter to me. You tell me that he is a relation and that’s all. You two hold hands and kiss each other and now you deny outright, “It wasn’t me” as if I am blind. Let’s, for your sake, consider that I was blind; still can you look into my ‘blind’ eyes and say that I don’t recognize the girl, whom I have loved with all my heart? That I would be mistaken, confuse it with someone else’s hair, is a blemish on the veracity of my love. I agree that I saw the two of you only from behind, but that’s coz I had, neither the heart nor the anxiety to face it. But am I mistaken? Not in this world. Can I ever forget your touch, your smile, those eyes, that flatness on your nose, that stupid earring you wear with pride, your hair? And you say it, with all the confidence, that I could not identify you!

“God, He knows what’s in my heart? And now just because of you, coz I love you and no one else, I have got to break a promise… God forgive me for this betrayal”

Ah! Now you are right…

“He was my sister’s lover and to-be husband.”

Wow! That’s true, isn’t it? And who are you then, surrogate mother to their child? Oh! Don’t be so shocked darling, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings but honestly, I am not so ‘religious’ to see two women, twin sisters, with a man but surely, either he is an iconic philanderer or you a … anyway, I’m sure your elder sister doesn’t know about this affair between her future husband and her loving sister, huh?

“The girl you saw was not me but my sister.”

WO! Now again, you think I… are you kidding? Wait, no…no… just wait a minute…are you serious? Oh! Who are we talking about here? About your elder cousin sister who lives with you, right?

“No. I am talking about my own sister.”

Now I am totally boggled. Your sister is here? Wasn’t she in California doing her MBA? Why am I even listening to your…

“She came here on Thursday owing to her marriage.”

Oh God! Where am I? I…Well… thought it was your cousin sister. That’s reasonably shocking! But do you think I am a fool? No, tell me honestly, did not you always say that you know me better than I do, and still you think I am not aware that your sister is to be married to that boy whose family owns the famous jewellery shop, the biggest one in town. Am I wrong? I personally know him and can assure you I haven’t seen him in weeks. Still, if I am to believe for a fraction of second that she was indeed your sibling, even then, how in God’s hell, could she be sitting carelessly in that park with a boy, just days before her wedding, and did I say sitting? Nah, there was more, the intimacy which I am well aware of, the magnetism and adoration that is unmistakable.

Why you are mum now and gosh! Don’t look at me so fiercely with those big brown eyes, oh it’s scary! You are done, aren’t you? You have failed, with all your shades of colour, to save me and whilst at that, you showed to me, all coz of God’s grace, your true natural hue; for even a lie, which slanders the righteousness of your twin sister, could not make you true. You weave an imaginary affair of your sister… and say to God that you are breaking a promise…what promise I ask…

Oh my goodness! Is your sister planning to elope with this boy? The promise…this is the one…is it not? To your sister, to keep it hushed? Oh, for God’s sake, say something…is this why you were quiet? TELL ME or I swear I will go mad. God!

And it was…her…your sister with him! Your twin sister! But, she had short hair…unlike you. Very short. Yes, I remember it, as clearly as a crytal, they were short and shiny and golden and I used to tease her by calling her ‘fat boy’. And you had long and shiny as if the sunlight emanated from the golden thickets. Isn’t that true? Tell me love… am I mstaken? Am I? She was not like you, oh not like YOU. No! I am not bellowing at you, not at you angel!

Her hair was short and golden and you had long and golden; yet you both looked so identical, twins…

“Oh dear! It’s not your fault. I should have told you before. But I couldn’t…I am so sorry…now get up…I beg you…”

1 comment:

  1. what's dis? can't even understand what u are talking abt?